Getting ready for the first day

It's Wednesday, and I am getting ready for school to start on Monday.  My two older kids are headed off to public school, oldest DS to 10th grade, and DS to 8th.  My youngest, my DS that I am homeschooling, lets call him J. J is 10, and would be going into 5th in his local public school.  I pulled him out last spring when it became blindingly clear that a traditional classroom setting was not working for him despite the efforts of many good people at school and at home. I loved his school.  I loved his resource teacher.  It's so close to our house he used to ride his bike.  And I had some freedom during the day when all the kids were at school.  But that is all about to change and I have to admit I am feeling some sadness.  I keep getting test messages from his old school about supply drop off night, they are going to have a photo booth! And a doughnut truck! And fun games! And meet the teachers! And he won't get to do any of that. It makes me sad for him, although I am not sure he is that sad. I think it's mostly me.  I worry that he is missing out on all the fun things about school, and instead, he gets me - all day, every day.  Ok, that is not entirely true, he will do a few classes at our local co op "homeschool". He will also do one or two classes online.  He will also have his gym classes which he loves.  All in all, I am not worried that I made the wrong choice to homeschool him. I believe that I can offer him the environment that he needs right now to grow and thrive.  But still. I am sad.  Part of it is the fact that all of my kids are getting older.  My babies are growing up! It's exciting and I love the people they are turning into, but it seems that someone has hit the fast forward button and I wish I could just pause time. I am also mourning the loss of my old life, the days when I had time to myself, to do chores, shop for groceries, read, workout, meet friends for coffee, meal prep and plan, walk the dogs, or even just do nothing. Now there's going to be a smaller human in my space ALL THE TIME. (Did I mention that I'm an introvert? I need my space!). I am mourning what J might have had at school - classroom parties, recess, hanging with his buddies at lunch. However I have to remember WHY we are doing this.  Because most of school wasn't that great for him.  He struggled with sensory overload every day.  It caused behavior problems, he was unable to focus well enough to learn and keep up.  Not because he isn't bright, but because his little body was overwhelmed with trying to process all the things going on around him he didn't have the bandwidth to also absorb and learn all the things.

So. Here we are.  I am going to be documenting this journey, mostly for me, to keep track of what we are doing and how we are doing.  Also for his online charter school that I am excited to be a part of.  This way I can record our activities and outings, our successes and our not so successes. :-)  Wish me patience and luck and love because I will need it all.